giving birth! This timeline is a little bit off but here's the story from my perspective:
I gave birth. At 8:09 a.m. Emily Hana Kim Yesawich arrived in this world at Virginia Hospital Center(VHC). I do want to say that VHC is one of the local hospitals that permit trying for a VBAC. Many hospitals do not. Through a lot of prayer and armed with information I was able to have a successful vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC). All of the possible things that could get in my way of having a VBAC happened to me. Here's my story.
My water broke on Sunday, November 6th right after the Redskins lost (again!) while I was sitting on the couch. I felt a little gush of something and then a river flowing out of me. I ran quickly to the hardwood floor and a pool of water formed below me. Fortunately, my sister Jenn was over and we made a quick plan. I packed my bag, took a hot shower and then called my doctor. They said because of the chance of uterine rupture it was best to go to the hospital even though I was not in full labor. I was having contractions but they were few and far apart. I also called my doula also named Jenn and told her my decision not to labor at home. I was feeling scared and remembered the story that my doctor had told me about uterine rupture and the women who lost her baby and had a complete hysterectomy. Wow. I was scared.
We arrived at the hospital around 6 p.m. and that's when all the "fun" began. After we completed some paperwork, a very nice nurse printed out our birth plan and my doctor, H went over it with me. She said that I would have to be connected to the fetal heart monitor at all times (2 foot tether), contraction monitor, finger pulse, blood pressure cuff and a continuous drip IV. I had the ability to get of bed and move two feet from the bed at best. I was crushed. H said all of these monitors would help her keep me safe and the baby safe. How was I supposed to labor? I had thoughts of hot showers and massages and walking the halls...Obviously this was not meant to be. H also said that I needed to have the continuous saline drip in order to get two full bags in me before surgery. WHAT? I wasn't having surgery but to H, I was getting ready for it.
7 p.m.
Enter nurse "Hatchet." I was already very upset to find out that I could not have a saline lock (this is where you have a place for an IV to go in but it's not connected to anything). I was considering just going home to labor at home when the nurse came in. She introduced herself and then laid out a myriad of syringes and vials in front of me and then abruptly took my right arm. What are you doing? I asked her? She said in a clipped tone that she was going to take some blood and put in the IV. I said I need a minute. She said she needed to do it now because the doctor had ordered an immediate blood test. I said I need a minute. She left the room and returned with the doctor. The doctor asked why I wasn't getting the IV right away as well as the blood draw. I said that I needed a minute and that I would call the nurse back in when I was ready. The doctor said that she needed the blood right away because the lab takes at least two hours and then she and the nurse left. One tear left my eye. I was so euphoric because my water had naturally broken and I thought I was on the course to a VBAC but I really already felt defeated.
7:15 p.m. the bloodwork and the IV are finished and I am laying in bed. I am having some contractions which I am breathing through with my doula. Each time I have to go to the bathroom, I am unhooked from all the monitors except for the IV and then rehooked up. It is so annoying!!! The last straw (of this portion of the night) comes when the nurse sees that I am wearing my own underwear (with a pad to soak up my water break) says to me that it is hospital policy to wear the hospital underwear and that I had to put it on right away.
10 p.m. Pantygate
witnesses: husband, doula, and sister
The nurse proceeds to try to yank off my underwear by brute force without saying anything to me. I said to her in a controlled voice, "Don't touch me, get your hands off me, please leave the room." All of us in the room were in shock. Did that just really happen? I am really shaken. I have already been stripped of any feeling of control and this crazy #$%*&$# nurse just assaulted me. I know it may not seem like much but it was really traumatizing as a patient to be treated as an inanimate object as if I was not even there.
11 p.m. New Nurse!
Enter Lauren. A cute, young no-nonsense nurse with a clear sense of what is right and wrong and not afraid to say anything about it. Lauren is a key piece to my successful VBAC. More about her later.
12 a.m I was beginning to feel more pressure and was moving around the best I could with the short leash I had due to being connected to the monitors which gave me about a 2-foot tether for "walking" around. The doctor came in and told me that I should get an epidural. I kept asking why? She said that if I didn't get an epidural put in then the chances that I would have to be put completely under were pretty good. I would get knocked out essentially and then John would also not be able to be in the delivery room. Doc H scared me enough to get the epidural. I really felt completely defeated.
1-3 a.m. After the epidural, I was able to relax quite a bit and did take a light nap from about 11 p.m. to 3 a.m. The doctor said that due to the size of my baby it was quite likely that I would have to have another c-section.
3 a.m. I woke up from feeling pressure but not enough to want to push. I chatted with my doula and we talked about what had happened until that point. The doctor came in again and said that I was fully dilated and said that I should start pushing. I didn't feel like pushing but urged by her I did start to futilely push. I could really feel mostly everything because I did not press the button for more medicine from the epidural so I had pretty much full feeling in my legs.
6 a.m. The doctor came into the room in her scrubs and told me that it was essential that I have a c-section. I asked calmly why? She said that the monitor was "tacky" and she didn't like the blood pressure for the baby. I am sure it was going up due to the fact that I was getting angry and pissed off at the doctor. My blood pressure was rising and so was the baby's. I knew though that this was not truly an "emergency" because if it were, I would be wheeled into the OR and not talked to about it. I kept stalling by asking her why and she said that if we did not operate right away my baby could be born with cerebral palsy, massive brain damage, permanent damage to her arm and neck due to the severity of birth. I said that I wanted a second opinion and she said, "Ask your husband!" Poor John had his head in his hands and was melting in the corner. I asked him what I should do and he said that it's your decision but I want to trust the medical professional. I reached within myself and believed that I could do it.
6:30 am. I said I wanted a minute and the doctor said that I could have a minute but soon I would have to go into the OR. While all of this is going on I am in full-blown labor so I am pushing and breathing and feeling like shit. Once the doctor left the room, nurse Lauren said that she didn't know what my doctor's problem was but she didn't think that anything was wrong or dangerous with my labor. She said that another woman was laboring next door and her baby's monitor was all over the place and that doctor was not talking about a c-section. I was given some oxygen and rested for a few minutes. Nurse Lauren checked me and also told me that I was not fully effaced so there was no way that I was in full-blown labor.
6:45 a.m. The doctor came in again and said that I could labor for a little while because both our heart rates had slowed down and she was comfortable with me trying to have a vaginal birth. I was able to relax again. Then we got a piece of real truth. Nurse Lauren spoke with the doctor outside the room and found out that the doctor was nervous about delivering a 'big' baby so she was hoping to just do a c-section. The doctor lied to us! I couldn't believe it.
7 a.m. I am in full-blown labor and pushing using the birthing bar and doing squats and pushing. Then I laid on my side and pushed. I did this back and forth holding John's hand for the actual pushing. I couldn't believe the pain. It really does feel like a major poop that is stuck. Kind of like a giant boulder that needs to pass.
7 a.m. enter Nurse Helen. She was a bubble of optimism and we really needed it at that point. Nurse Lauren shift ended and she said she would be back to see the baby. Nurse Helen said to us, "Let's have this baby!" At this point I am totallly focused and the task at hand so I am pushing and grunting and yelling at my husband. Helen says that she feels the head and that it's almost out so I am pushing and grunting and also telling her not to call the doctor until the very last minute because I do not want the doctor to interfere.
7:30 a.m. Helen calls the doctor but there is no response. I am pushing and Emily's head pops out. Helen calls the doctor again and she runs in the room while I am yelling, "Somebody help me please! Please someone help me!"
8:09 a.m. The doctor runs into the room and the nurse puts on her gown and gloves. She barely catches the baby and all she has to say to me is that I proved her wrong. No f*(*&ing duh!) The baby is put on my belly and I am so incredibly happy and euphoric. It is amazing. She is perfect. She goes right on the breast and is suckling immediately. I cannot believe it. It is truly amazing. Wow. This is what it's like to give birth. I feel amazing! I am so happy.
They take the baby to measure her and weigh her. She is perfect! 21' long and 8 lbs and 5 oz. She is alert, pink and ready for the world.
This is what I have to say: F*** c-sections, F*** doctors that tell you that your body cannot do it. Educate yourself on what your body can do. Getting c-sections is not necessarily the way to go all the times.
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| The new family of 4 |
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| minutes after birth |
My water broke on Sunday, November 6th right after the Redskins lost (again!) while I was sitting on the couch. I felt a little gush of something and then a river flowing out of me. I ran quickly to the hardwood floor and a pool of water formed below me. Fortunately, my sister Jenn was over and we made a quick plan. I packed my bag, took a hot shower and then called my doctor. They said because of the chance of uterine rupture it was best to go to the hospital even though I was not in full labor. I was having contractions but they were few and far apart. I also called my doula also named Jenn and told her my decision not to labor at home. I was feeling scared and remembered the story that my doctor had told me about uterine rupture and the women who lost her baby and had a complete hysterectomy. Wow. I was scared.
We arrived at the hospital around 6 p.m. and that's when all the "fun" began. After we completed some paperwork, a very nice nurse printed out our birth plan and my doctor, H went over it with me. She said that I would have to be connected to the fetal heart monitor at all times (2 foot tether), contraction monitor, finger pulse, blood pressure cuff and a continuous drip IV. I had the ability to get of bed and move two feet from the bed at best. I was crushed. H said all of these monitors would help her keep me safe and the baby safe. How was I supposed to labor? I had thoughts of hot showers and massages and walking the halls...Obviously this was not meant to be. H also said that I needed to have the continuous saline drip in order to get two full bags in me before surgery. WHAT? I wasn't having surgery but to H, I was getting ready for it.
7 p.m.
Enter nurse "Hatchet." I was already very upset to find out that I could not have a saline lock (this is where you have a place for an IV to go in but it's not connected to anything). I was considering just going home to labor at home when the nurse came in. She introduced herself and then laid out a myriad of syringes and vials in front of me and then abruptly took my right arm. What are you doing? I asked her? She said in a clipped tone that she was going to take some blood and put in the IV. I said I need a minute. She said she needed to do it now because the doctor had ordered an immediate blood test. I said I need a minute. She left the room and returned with the doctor. The doctor asked why I wasn't getting the IV right away as well as the blood draw. I said that I needed a minute and that I would call the nurse back in when I was ready. The doctor said that she needed the blood right away because the lab takes at least two hours and then she and the nurse left. One tear left my eye. I was so euphoric because my water had naturally broken and I thought I was on the course to a VBAC but I really already felt defeated.
7:15 p.m. the bloodwork and the IV are finished and I am laying in bed. I am having some contractions which I am breathing through with my doula. Each time I have to go to the bathroom, I am unhooked from all the monitors except for the IV and then rehooked up. It is so annoying!!! The last straw (of this portion of the night) comes when the nurse sees that I am wearing my own underwear (with a pad to soak up my water break) says to me that it is hospital policy to wear the hospital underwear and that I had to put it on right away.
10 p.m. Pantygate
witnesses: husband, doula, and sister
The nurse proceeds to try to yank off my underwear by brute force without saying anything to me. I said to her in a controlled voice, "Don't touch me, get your hands off me, please leave the room." All of us in the room were in shock. Did that just really happen? I am really shaken. I have already been stripped of any feeling of control and this crazy #$%*&$# nurse just assaulted me. I know it may not seem like much but it was really traumatizing as a patient to be treated as an inanimate object as if I was not even there.
11 p.m. New Nurse!
Enter Lauren. A cute, young no-nonsense nurse with a clear sense of what is right and wrong and not afraid to say anything about it. Lauren is a key piece to my successful VBAC. More about her later.
12 a.m I was beginning to feel more pressure and was moving around the best I could with the short leash I had due to being connected to the monitors which gave me about a 2-foot tether for "walking" around. The doctor came in and told me that I should get an epidural. I kept asking why? She said that if I didn't get an epidural put in then the chances that I would have to be put completely under were pretty good. I would get knocked out essentially and then John would also not be able to be in the delivery room. Doc H scared me enough to get the epidural. I really felt completely defeated.
1-3 a.m. After the epidural, I was able to relax quite a bit and did take a light nap from about 11 p.m. to 3 a.m. The doctor said that due to the size of my baby it was quite likely that I would have to have another c-section.
3 a.m. I woke up from feeling pressure but not enough to want to push. I chatted with my doula and we talked about what had happened until that point. The doctor came in again and said that I was fully dilated and said that I should start pushing. I didn't feel like pushing but urged by her I did start to futilely push. I could really feel mostly everything because I did not press the button for more medicine from the epidural so I had pretty much full feeling in my legs.
6 a.m. The doctor came into the room in her scrubs and told me that it was essential that I have a c-section. I asked calmly why? She said that the monitor was "tacky" and she didn't like the blood pressure for the baby. I am sure it was going up due to the fact that I was getting angry and pissed off at the doctor. My blood pressure was rising and so was the baby's. I knew though that this was not truly an "emergency" because if it were, I would be wheeled into the OR and not talked to about it. I kept stalling by asking her why and she said that if we did not operate right away my baby could be born with cerebral palsy, massive brain damage, permanent damage to her arm and neck due to the severity of birth. I said that I wanted a second opinion and she said, "Ask your husband!" Poor John had his head in his hands and was melting in the corner. I asked him what I should do and he said that it's your decision but I want to trust the medical professional. I reached within myself and believed that I could do it.
6:30 am. I said I wanted a minute and the doctor said that I could have a minute but soon I would have to go into the OR. While all of this is going on I am in full-blown labor so I am pushing and breathing and feeling like shit. Once the doctor left the room, nurse Lauren said that she didn't know what my doctor's problem was but she didn't think that anything was wrong or dangerous with my labor. She said that another woman was laboring next door and her baby's monitor was all over the place and that doctor was not talking about a c-section. I was given some oxygen and rested for a few minutes. Nurse Lauren checked me and also told me that I was not fully effaced so there was no way that I was in full-blown labor.
6:45 a.m. The doctor came in again and said that I could labor for a little while because both our heart rates had slowed down and she was comfortable with me trying to have a vaginal birth. I was able to relax again. Then we got a piece of real truth. Nurse Lauren spoke with the doctor outside the room and found out that the doctor was nervous about delivering a 'big' baby so she was hoping to just do a c-section. The doctor lied to us! I couldn't believe it.
7 a.m. I am in full-blown labor and pushing using the birthing bar and doing squats and pushing. Then I laid on my side and pushed. I did this back and forth holding John's hand for the actual pushing. I couldn't believe the pain. It really does feel like a major poop that is stuck. Kind of like a giant boulder that needs to pass.
7 a.m. enter Nurse Helen. She was a bubble of optimism and we really needed it at that point. Nurse Lauren shift ended and she said she would be back to see the baby. Nurse Helen said to us, "Let's have this baby!" At this point I am totallly focused and the task at hand so I am pushing and grunting and yelling at my husband. Helen says that she feels the head and that it's almost out so I am pushing and grunting and also telling her not to call the doctor until the very last minute because I do not want the doctor to interfere.
7:30 a.m. Helen calls the doctor but there is no response. I am pushing and Emily's head pops out. Helen calls the doctor again and she runs in the room while I am yelling, "Somebody help me please! Please someone help me!"
8:09 a.m. The doctor runs into the room and the nurse puts on her gown and gloves. She barely catches the baby and all she has to say to me is that I proved her wrong. No f*(*&ing duh!) The baby is put on my belly and I am so incredibly happy and euphoric. It is amazing. She is perfect. She goes right on the breast and is suckling immediately. I cannot believe it. It is truly amazing. Wow. This is what it's like to give birth. I feel amazing! I am so happy.
They take the baby to measure her and weigh her. She is perfect! 21' long and 8 lbs and 5 oz. She is alert, pink and ready for the world.
This is what I have to say: F*** c-sections, F*** doctors that tell you that your body cannot do it. Educate yourself on what your body can do. Getting c-sections is not necessarily the way to go all the times.
5 comments:
Wow, I'm so proud of you. Doctor H and that nurse who assaulted you should be fired.
Awesome job, dearie. You didn't back down, you took charge of your baby's delivery, and had some great help along the way. I hope you take back some nice goodies for the wonderful nurses and filed a complaint against the bad staff. Forcing you into a c-section because SHE didn't want to deal with a VBAC is bulls**t, and ripping your panties off...well, that's John's job. ;)
Oh my gosh Sandra. I am so happy for you. I could not help but cry reading this after I got pissed off at the rest of the experience. Thank you so much for sharing this. I really needed this. I want as natural a child birth as possible and your story is so empowering and inspiring. Thank you!
You GO Sandra. Awesome! We cannot wait.
Well, we can... for a few more months. HA!
I still feel crazy about my experience. NO ONE should have to go through birth in the awful tumultuous way that I did. God did it. I forgot to add in my birth story that I wrote up on a dry erase board that was straight across from me Phil 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
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